


You Got a Piece of Me.

by Kali Cephirot (10AlliraDream84)



Category: Loveless
Genre: Angst, Breaking up is hard to do, F/F, Getting Back Together, Happily Ever After
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-28
Updated: 2010-10-28
Packaged: 2017-10-12 22:42:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10AlliraDream84/pseuds/Kali%20Cephirot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kissing Kouya makes Yamato think that everything will be alright, perhaps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Got a Piece of Me.

** You Got a Piece of Me. **

Three weeks after they lose their ears, she tells Kouya that they're not going to the same High School after all.

She huffs, tossing her hair, doing her best to ignore Kouya's stricken look, the way her eyes have widened and instead she stretches, languid and calm, post-orgasmic. She won't tell her this was an order from Nagisa-sensei, because then Kouya might try to disobey, say that as the Fighter, she only has to obey her.

The Sacrifice she might be, but Yamato knows how these thing work, at least with them.

"Why would I want to go to such a boring school?" Yamato asks out loud and she smiles a little, the tilt of her lips the same Nagisa uses when scolding her. She knows Kouya won't recognize it as such, because Kouya has never been scolded by Nagisa.

Kouya shakes her head and looks at her, her eyes still wide and frantic. Yamato is so glad she insisted on putting on a nightshirt, because at least that helps her try to stop the sudden urge to hold her close and say she's just kidding, she's just kidding around.

"Then I'll–"

Yamato interrupts her, still laying down on Kouya's bed, by asking for her knickers, by putting on her bra again. She has to resist the urge to turn around and inhale deeply Kouya's smell. Nagisa wants to test their limits, their boundaries, and she has repeated enough that she's expendable. Yamato won't risk it, won't take the chance that there are actually other Zero and that Nagisa can give Kouya another Sacrifice.

"That kind of school is better suited for Kouya, who likes all those boring extra classes," Yamato says with a little pout before she giggles, sitting up. Kouya is still sitting seiza by the floor, and Yamato can see the way her hands have fisted, how they are shaking on top of her thighs. The sudden urge to hold them and kiss the half circles that probably are on Kouya's skin is so bad she almost can't breath. "So you'll go there and I'll go to a school that suits me better."

Kouya doesn't say a thing. Her eyes look too wide behind her glasses and, despite the fact that she doesn't have her ears anymore, Yamato thinks that she looks young. She stands up, fixes her skirt and shirt the best she can, combing her fingers through her hair, picking up her schoolbag. She won't be able to keep her facade if Kouya cries, if Kouya begs to know why she's doing this. She walks by Kouya's side, rising a hand when she gets to the door of Kouya's room despite knowing that Kouya is not looking at her retreating back. She just has to keep her smile for a few more steps.

"Well, see you~"

Kouya says nothing at all.

**

Yamato never tells Kouya about Kusaragi-kun. Kusaragi-kun with his dark hair and glasses who had always been so kind with her, despite her reputation, Kusaragi-kun with his long black tail and kitten ears who blushes when he sees her and who stammers a little too much and who has a lovely, lovely smile.

He is a lovely boy, after all. A good boy, and she likes his smile. Yamato never tells Kouya about how Kusaragi-kun makes her think about her, when it's been over three months since the last time they saw each other and over two months since the last time they even spoke to each other, and that time it had only been the orders for a battle.

Sometimes, late at night when she can't sleep and she's touching herself, she thinks about how Kouya'd look with Kusaragi-kun's smile and she can't help but come, can't help but mutter Kouya's name between her gasps.

It's that as much as her curiosity what makes her agree to go out with Kusaragi-kun, and it's missing Kouya what makes her kiss him, what makes her take his hand and press it against her breast, what makes her ask him if he wants to do it.

She has never had sex with a man before, only has Kouya's touch on her memory but she kisses him and then takes his cock in her mouth, as gently as she possibly can when she can't feel pain to serve as a guide, and Kusaragi-kun gasps her name and soon after his come is thick and bitter in her mouth.

Kusaragi-kun fumbles with the condom so Yamato helps him, holds his cock and then straddles him. The stretch feels like nothing, and Kusaragi-kun doesn't know how to touch her at all and if he was doing this with any other girl, Yamato thinks he'd probably be hurting her and apologizing for that.

But she thinks that Kusaragi-kun wants to do this right, wants this to be good for her, too, with his wide frantic eyes and the way he's gasping. Yamato closes her eyes so she can believe it's Kouya's fingers touching her, that Kouya's legs are the ones she's straddling and she moans, rocking unto his touch and touching her own breasts and her clit until Kusaragi-kun comes again and she comes, too.

After Kusaragi-kun goes to his house, eyes wide and his crush so painfully obvious, Yamato breaks up with him, tells him that she won't go out with him again and that he shouldn't call her, closing her door without listening to his words again. Then she takes a bath, tries to make it as hot as she possibly can, hoping the water will make the emptiness inside her to fade away.

The day after that, she sees her Name starts to fade. It's silently telling her, 'you're nothing, you're a failure' over and over and over and

**

She didn't know that Kouya had cut her hair, too, and the fake cat ears are also new. Looking at those, the new-old thing she was barely learning to know as pain hurt hard and tight beneath her ribs.

She giggles when Kouya is jealous – _jealous!_ – of her friends, when she realizes that Kouya missed her as much as she missed her. As if she didn't know that there's no one as important as Kouya for her.

Kissing Kouya makes Yamato think that everything will be alright, perhaps.

**

"If she gets in the way, I'll prepare a new Sacrifice for you."

Yamato keeps smiling, even with Kouya saying that she's her only Sacrifice. Silly, silly Kouya, still not knowing the rules. She giggles a little.

"That's fine, sensei! I'd die if I ever thought I'm in Kouya's way~"

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

**

In school they had to read Romeo&Juliet and at first she thought it was so very stupid because you can't fall in love in one day and they could've done a million other things instead of dying like that, killing themselves like that. Selfish, stupid teenagers doing stupid, selfish things, throwing tantrums, talking about death and love as if they understood.

Now, Yamato still thinks it's stupid and selfish and lame, because dying means nothing, and dying together can't be the same than living under the sun and hearing your loved one's laugh and just feeling her by your side.

And still... still. To be a burden. To chain Kouya down. To be useless.

She touches the scar at her wrists while she thinks that she just wants forever. Is that really so much to ask?

**

Pain is looking at Kouya's stricken eyes, watching her cry. Knowing that she's nothing, she's a failure, a failure, she's nothing, now Kouya will have a new Sacrifice, a better Sacrifice, and Yamato's heart hurts so much, nothing has hurt so much like this.

Everything else doesn't matter, doesn't exist. She's a failure, she failed as a Sacrifice, she failed as Zero, she failed as Kouya's other half. Now Kouya will be taken away and--

"I won't fight anymore," Kouya says, voice angry, fierce.

It's only then that Yamato finds out that hope can hurt, too, so much that she thinks she will burn away with it.

**

Kouya starts kissing her the moment they arrive to Yamato's place. Pressed against the door, taking off sweaters and uniforms, Kouya kisses her as if she wanted to mark her again, as if she wanted all of her skin to say 'Kouya', as if she was saying 'mine, mine, mine, mine'.

When Kouya kneels by the floor, pushing her thighs away and licking at her folds, Yamato cries out and holds tightly to the sheets, trembling even before she gets close to the edge.

Afterwards, Kouya lays her head down against her shoulder, quietly. Kouya is also trembling. Yamato manages to move her arms and hold her close. They have died but they've also reborn, sweat on their skin and her taste on Kouya's lips.

Kouya's fingers move from her waist, between her breasts, above the right one.

"I want mine to fade as well," Kouya whispers, her fingers still tracing the ZERO were it should be.

Yamato kisses the top of her head and holds her close.

"Why?"

"It means nothing now," Kouya looks into her eyes, and again she seems so young for a moment that Yamato feels her breath catching at her throat. Her voice is fierce again. "I want to be the same as you."

Yamato feels her smile spreading over her face, so she holds Kouya close and kisses her until she feels Kouya smile too.


End file.
